Analconda

MAGNET

Finally, an anaconda pun that is not related to male endowment. The analconda is a common species in the concrete jungle and can be found in most any office building. Their natural prey include smaller animals like mice, parrots, monkeys etc. They hunt by wrapping their expectations tightly around the prey until it suffocates. The prey is then proffered an option where if it is compliant and followed expectations to a T it gets to breathe again. Fail to dot all the ‘i’s and cross all the ‘t’s however, the analconda will constrict further crushing its prey before swallowing it whole.

Who should get this:

1. You are the prey and know you have had several close shaves
2. You are the analconda but has not established enough dominance to make sure your prey do exactly as you want them to
3. You are not yet sure if you are a prey but suspect you know of at least one analconda after you
4. You are that brave soul that wants to point out to the analconda that it is not going to swallow you without facing a fight
5. You are the analconda and proud to be one